My brother and long time family friend RJ flew in this weekend to help me do some moving. We moved a lot of furniture from one of my families investment proprieties into my mom’s house. There was A LOT of furniture. Thank goodness my brother and my friend were able to come help. I have no idea how I was gonna move all that stuff. We didn’t completely finish but we got all the big stuff. The only thing left are a few smaller items I can grab myself, a spa that I need to figure out how I’m gonna get, and a bunch of marble statues the bank can have for all I care. With this I am one step closer to getting this house off of my hands. It’s kinda sad considering how nice the house is. Unfortunately, I just don’t have the time, knowledge, or capacity to put into keeping it with so many other things going on. I might have moved things out of the house, but there are plenty of things keeping me from moving on from this real estate fiasco.
Archive for September, 2008
Just finished Michael Maloney’s book on investing in gold and silver. If you scare easy do not read this book. It will seriously make you start to think that the sky will fall soon. However, if you’d like to know how the world might implode it’s a good book to read. Also, if you ever thought about investing in precious metals it’s definitely a must read.
Ok, so I really enjoyed reading Paulo Coelho’s The Zahir and it continues to inspire me to write about random thoughts I have when I can’t sleep. There’s one line of text that really hits me like a “slug to the” left hemisphere of my brain (thanks Mr. Shakur):
“When I had nothing more to lose, I was given everything. When I ceased to be who I am, I found myself. When I experienced humiliation and yet kept on walking, I understood that I was free to choose my destiny.”
The Zahir captures us but it is ultimately our journey that decides what we become. It’s like the saying, “What you get from squeezing oranges is orange juice. Great pressure exposes ones true self.”
I know. Very inspiring. It’s like the great sages of the old world manifested themselves into my mind and refuse to let me SLEEP!
Final Thought: Many walk the path their world sets for them without giving it much thought. Few choose the destiny The World sets for them. Many sleep at this time of day. I am apparently destined to go crazy due to lack of sleep.
This is more about something I read in a book than about any religious or spiritual belief. I’m not much of a religion person so this will probably be one of the very, very rare times that I will actually write about anything relating to it.
Once again a bit of text from Paulo Coelho’s The Zahir spurns my writiing:
“If someone is capable of loving his partner without restrictions, unconditionally, then he is manifesting the love of God. If the love of God becomes manifest, he will love his neighbor. If he loves his neighbor, he will love himself. If he loves himself, then everything returns to its proper place. History changes.”
I grew up going to private catholic schools. So I was taught a lot about God’s unconditional love. However, being that I am not catholic or very religious, I have a different view of God and God’s unconditional love. Like in The Zahir, I belive it is possible to manifest God’s love. I also believe that 99.998% of the worlds population will never be able to do so. Too much B.S. in the world makes this difficult. Not even parents of children they are suppose to love unconditionally really understand this. If someone was to achieve God’s love, well, they may just find that they have become enlightened like the great Buddha and free themselves from the cycle of life and death. I was raised by a buddhist family by the way.
Anyway, although I really enjoyed The Zahir and really like the quote I have above I think it’s a little backwards. I feel it should read:
If one is capable of loving oneself, then everything returns to it’s proper place. History changes. One will love one’s neighbor and become capable of manifesting the love of God. If one is capable of manifesting God’s love then one will be capable of loving one’s partner without restriction, unconditionally.
Final Thought: Love Yourself foo. Or don’t. I really don’t care. I don’t pity the foos that don’t love themselves.
Blah. Not being able to sleep makes me think about odd things. Then I must write about it in order to speed the process so I might be able to sleep sooner rather than later. Thus, a long discussion with myself on love and marriage. Don’t expect anything about a horse and carriage… ever… because I don’t really understand what that means.
Disclaimer: I should add that I just finished reading Paulo Coelho’s The Zahir not too long ago so some of this might sound weird. Though, I probably sound weird on a pretty consistent basis anyway. I also refer to some things as statistical fact. I have no references so take such comments as B.S. like the rest of my writing.
Story: I knew a co-worker who was going through a divorce. Her parents are married for 30+ years and she wanted the same thing. Statistically, couples of parents who have lasting marriages usually have lasting marriages also. So why was she going through a difficult divorce? Because she was too bloody young! If she was older than I was at the time she wasn’t older by much. Why does age matter? Love.
Discussion: Now, in my mind, love flows through me. It is easy for me to love as I was born of love, but it’s virtually impossible for me, currently, to commit to one person. Though, many believe that commitment is the ultimate form of love. That when you truly love someone you are willing to share your whole life with them. That no matter what happens, love will prevail. I say everyone needs to stop watching all that garbage on tv and go out and live a little. There are many factors involved with the continuance of a relationship and a marriage that has nothing to do with love. However, if one chooses to believe that romantic love is different than other types of love and should be shared with one other person then by all means believe whatever makes one happy. Everyone is entitled to their own oppinions. Just don’t feel inclined to suggest that I too should think the same way. Although, it just so happens that I reserve the right to believe in “True Love” that is strong enough to bring a man back from near death as is depicted in the movie “The Princess Bride.” I love that movie.
Moving along now. Some would probably say that my inability to commit is an ailment of all men. That is also very likely a truth. However, I am also burdened with the fact that my parents are divorced. More than divorced, my parents despise each other. As I have stated before, children of parents who have been in a lasting relationship generally end up in a lasting relationship themselves. Likewise, children of parents who have divorced or seperated grow up dysfunctional in the area of relationships. Now, I am sure at one point in their youth my parents truly loved each other. I also presume that in some moments, though fleeting, they still love each other. Unfortunately, even if they love each other they cannot possibly live, work, or interact with each other. My dad holds steadfast to the ideal that the father is the head of household and all family members should listen to and respect him. He feels that his orders should be carried out without question. My mom, at one point, became very independent and learned that she is very capable at many things. However, she now feels her independence has given her insight above others, thus, people should listen to and respect her. She feels that she has already learned most things and that her orders should be carried out without question.
I don’t know what they were like when they were younger, except for storries of my dad’s delinquencies and my mom’s hard work. I am beginning to realize though that somewhere along the way they started to change. Most likely because they grew up and had children. In any case, they grew apart and now constantly fight with each other over power and control. I don’t know if they realize it yet but they have already lost most of both due to the simple fact that are unable to relinquish any of it.
Thus I am afflicted with the subconcious feelings of uneasiness when it comes to commitments. How can two people love each other and devote their lives to one another when they are constantly changing and there is a very likely possibility that the two individuals will grow apart. This is not to say that two people who love each other shouldn’t get married. I am very happy for all my friends who are married or engaged. I just feel that it’s a bit early. Statistically, marriages after the age of 30 have high chances of lasting. Then again, many of them are more mature than I am also so that is very likely another factor to be considered.
I once thought that I’d be married with children before I was 30. But then I turned 21 and realized how young even 30 still is. People just weren’t meant to decide their whole lives at such an early age. Though many will fight it, fact is still fact even if everyone denies it. Why deny truth? Fear.
The truth is there are some who love in ways differently than most. Though we try to define, categorize, or label it, love is simple that, love. Many try to define it. Some already understand it.
We were created with love and we should share it. Wise person once told me: Love is the one thing that perpetuates when it is shared. The more love we give, the more we get return.
Just so there is no misunderstanding, when I say love should be shared I don’t mean go to bed with that hottie you met in the club. That is probably not love. That is more likely sex, lust, and alcohol. If one really enjoy sex and feels the need to enjoy it with many different people then playah, play on. Just don’t try to fake the funk by pretending that love is involved. Can love be involved? Sure. Though probably not with that club hottie. Is this common? No. Most people are too selfish.
Final Thought: Love does not go together with marriage like a horse and carriage. Love is not a horse. Marriage is not a carriage. Hmm, I need more sleep. I am not really sure what I wrote.
