Archive for the 'the Beautiful Struggle' Category

Recentering, Readjusting, Refocusing

Published on January 17, 2010 in Goals, Pursuit for Happyness, Self Actualization and the Beautiful Struggle. 0 Comments

I’ve been in Vietnam for 5 months now? Time sure flies.
One more month and a half a year will have gone since I arrived in Vietnam.
I was initially thinking that I would only be in Vietnam for a year.
However, in almost half that time I got a job, quit the job, got hired at a new job, and started working on an independent tutoring company with a friend. Not to mention all the projects I have waiting on the wings.
I wanted to add 15-20 lbs of muscle mass, travel around South East Asia, and bring my business projects in the States up to the next level.
It’s a bit overwhelming.
How exactly am I suppose to accomplish everything I have set out to do in Vietnam in the one years time that I planned to be here?
Well, I could add the 15-20 lbs of muscle mass and work on my stateside business projects while I’m back in the states. Actually, it would be easier. However, travel will be close to nil and I still have 7 more months left of my one year excursion in Vietnam.
I gotta face the facts… I did not plan this out well at all.
Thinking back on it… I spent 2 years in Los Angeles and 2 years in Las Vegas. It is probably safe to say that I will spend at least 2 years in Vietnam.
All the while the 5 year deadline on my 5 year goals are slowly creeping up.
Once again… poorly planned. I need to recenter myself. I’m in Vietnam now and I don’t know how long I will be here but no matter what the goal is I will figure how to achieve it from here.
So what now? Do I say “no worries” and pick up more English classes and tutoring gigs so that I can make more money to enjoy Vietnam and travel? Do I give up on my 5 year goal? Do I give up on gaining 15 lbs? Do I hit the restart button?
Nah, I’m not trying to restart at this point.
Instead, I think I’ll just do a little refresh.
One of my mentors told me that most people overestimate what they can do in 5 years but underestimate what they can accomplish in 20 years. What I need to do is readjust my time frame. 5 years is not enough time for what I wanted to do, but 20 years should be more than enough. So now my 5 year goal will be my 20 year goal and I’ll set a new 5 year (more like 3.5 years now) goal to act as a stepping stone to my 20 year goal. There’s still year 10 and year 15 but I’ll add, readjust and tweak everything as I work through it all.
Now… will I even be able to accomplish my new 5 year goal in the 3.5 years that I have left? As I am right now, that is very unlikely. If I could accomplish my 5 year goal as I am right now I would be a lot further along. I know what I want and I have an idea of what I must do to accomplish it. However, I have neglected to remind myself of what I must sacrifice to achieve it. This has been and will always be the hardest part. Can I go up without giving up? Painfully, I must admit that this is not possible. I’d be further along in my goal if it was. Thus, today I’m taking time to refocus and bring the goal back into view. I hope, this time, that I will stay the course and make the choices that are imperative to my success.

Everyday is a new day with new chance to make a new choice. I will start making more choices that lead me toward my goals and less choices that lead me away from my goals. (I hope.)

Losses, Waste, Potential, Opportunity

Published on November 23, 2009 in Life and the Beautiful Struggle. 0 Comments

The world will not allow me to settle.

It detests my complacency.

Whether it is self-inflicted loss of direction or a conspiracy some higher force has with me, I cannot seem to keep a decent job for long.

It’s as if any job that would give me a comfortable life is sabotaged by another more urgent matter or by crabs in a bucket.

Whereas dead end jobs seem to follow me around, taunting me and daring me to keep it.

It’s not that it bothers me at all. I wouldn’t be happy with being comfortable. It’s not what I want. I do not want to live a comfortable life right now.

I want the world and I want to be able to give it to others.

I want a life where I could truthfully tell myself and tell others that the possibilities are limitless.

Coming to Vietnam was a plan C at best. But what happens when plan C doesn’t pan out? I don’t think I have a plan D. Do I go back to the drawing board? Do I start all over?

I spent a whole evening losing sleep while brooding over my current situation. Then it came like a balloon being inflated from within my head. Doubt. Yes, I occasionally doubt myself too. I started to remember all the times I’ve been told I should put my degree to good use, that I wasn’t suited to do business, or that what I wanted to do was too risky or insecure. I remembered that there are people who doubt me and there are people who feel I should do something else, something safe. I started to feel like everything I did up until now was a waste of time. I started to think that what I want to accomplish in my life is impossible.

Now, after trying not to think about it for a few days, I am starting to remember why.

Why it is imperative that I believe in myself and believe in those around me.

Why I absolutely must succeed.

Why I absolutely cannot settle.

Why I absolutely must persevere despite the obstacles and challenges.

Why it is impossible for me to give up the dream.

All this moving and trying to settle in made me nearly forget something very important. Plan C wasn’t a backup plan incase plan A & B failed. Plan C was a detour to get to plan A. Plan B isn’t a backup plan either. It’s just another plan to achieve plan A.

So consumed I was by all the doubters and debtors that I nearly forgot all those who believe in me. I nearly forgot all those I have disappointed thus far and all those who are still waiting for me to reach my potential. I nearly forgot those I have failed and all those who will continue to stand by me even after I fail again just to make sure I get back up again.

I won’t accept that all that I have done has been a loss or a waste of my time.  It has led me to today and today is where opportunity awaits.  Now the question that remains is if I’ll be able to hold on this time or will I let it slip through my fingers again?