Archive for the 'Self Actualization' Category

Recentering, Readjusting, Refocusing

Published on January 17, 2010 in Goals, Pursuit for Happyness, Self Actualization and the Beautiful Struggle. 0 Comments

I’ve been in Vietnam for 5 months now? Time sure flies.
One more month and a half a year will have gone since I arrived in Vietnam.
I was initially thinking that I would only be in Vietnam for a year.
However, in almost half that time I got a job, quit the job, got hired at a new job, and started working on an independent tutoring company with a friend. Not to mention all the projects I have waiting on the wings.
I wanted to add 15-20 lbs of muscle mass, travel around South East Asia, and bring my business projects in the States up to the next level.
It’s a bit overwhelming.
How exactly am I suppose to accomplish everything I have set out to do in Vietnam in the one years time that I planned to be here?
Well, I could add the 15-20 lbs of muscle mass and work on my stateside business projects while I’m back in the states. Actually, it would be easier. However, travel will be close to nil and I still have 7 more months left of my one year excursion in Vietnam.
I gotta face the facts… I did not plan this out well at all.
Thinking back on it… I spent 2 years in Los Angeles and 2 years in Las Vegas. It is probably safe to say that I will spend at least 2 years in Vietnam.
All the while the 5 year deadline on my 5 year goals are slowly creeping up.
Once again… poorly planned. I need to recenter myself. I’m in Vietnam now and I don’t know how long I will be here but no matter what the goal is I will figure how to achieve it from here.
So what now? Do I say “no worries” and pick up more English classes and tutoring gigs so that I can make more money to enjoy Vietnam and travel? Do I give up on my 5 year goal? Do I give up on gaining 15 lbs? Do I hit the restart button?
Nah, I’m not trying to restart at this point.
Instead, I think I’ll just do a little refresh.
One of my mentors told me that most people overestimate what they can do in 5 years but underestimate what they can accomplish in 20 years. What I need to do is readjust my time frame. 5 years is not enough time for what I wanted to do, but 20 years should be more than enough. So now my 5 year goal will be my 20 year goal and I’ll set a new 5 year (more like 3.5 years now) goal to act as a stepping stone to my 20 year goal. There’s still year 10 and year 15 but I’ll add, readjust and tweak everything as I work through it all.
Now… will I even be able to accomplish my new 5 year goal in the 3.5 years that I have left? As I am right now, that is very unlikely. If I could accomplish my 5 year goal as I am right now I would be a lot further along. I know what I want and I have an idea of what I must do to accomplish it. However, I have neglected to remind myself of what I must sacrifice to achieve it. This has been and will always be the hardest part. Can I go up without giving up? Painfully, I must admit that this is not possible. I’d be further along in my goal if it was. Thus, today I’m taking time to refocus and bring the goal back into view. I hope, this time, that I will stay the course and make the choices that are imperative to my success.

Everyday is a new day with new chance to make a new choice. I will start making more choices that lead me toward my goals and less choices that lead me away from my goals. (I hope.)

Is This What it Means to Grow Up?

Published on October 10, 2008 in Pursuit for Happyness, Rambling, Relationships and Self Actualization. 0 Comments

It’s October 10, 2008 and 3 weeks have gone by since Heroes started its 3rd season. In a few days the 4th episode will air. I have only seen the season premier’s double episode. I haven’t seen the last two episodes and I have made no effort to do so. It’s not that I don’t enjoy watching Heroes anymore. I really enjoyed the premier and I’m sure the moment I start watching an episode of Heroes I will have my full attention on it. Rather, there are other things currently occupying my attention.

I think I had it all wrong. For the longest time I have fought with the idea of getting old. I make it well known how much I disagree when people say that only 5 years ago we were so young or when people say “back in the day” (when we were in diapers?!?!) or when people complain about getting old at the age of 18! We (mid to late 20s) are not that old! I have friends in the early 30s who don’t seem that much older than I am. We are all still very young. I think we all just lose perspective when we are constantly consumed with what happens in our daily lives. It’s like a small girl saying how fat she is when she’s standing right next to a girl who may be twice her size. People are living to well after 80 and we’re not even 40 yet. Old? Speak for yourself.

What I’m getting at is how old we get in years doesn’t really matter. That’s not an appropriate measure of age. It’s like in the Robin Williams movie, Hook, or rather the converse of it. The lost boys don’t want to grow up and give Peter a tough time because he got old. What they were really worried about was becoming mean grumpy old men who forgot how to have fun. By the end of the movie they did win the fight against Hook and essentially becoming mean grumpy old men, yet, they also grew up. At least a little bit. They figured out what it meant to be responsible for each other and fight for something that is important to them. They did this while staying true to themselves and having a lot of fun in the process. That is a clear sign of growing up.

So these days, instead of watching tv shows, I’d rather spend time walking the road to my dreams and spend time with the people in my life while I can (face it, we may cheat old age but we cannot cheat death; FM, RH, AU, GO… my loss for time not well spent). As time passes it becomes harder and harder to do so. Work, money, society, expectations and distance are some of the few things that keep us from our dreams and our family and friends. As I grow up I begin to realize the importance of responsibility, family, friends, and finding a means to protect those I love. At the same time I don’t want to lose my youth. I want to continue to do fun things and enjoy life with my family and friends. Things like going on Tahoe trips, camping trips, theme parks or just enjoying the beach and a football game. I also want to be able to do these activities spontaneously. Isn’t that the what many of us think of when we think “back in the days?” To be able to get distracted by something, gather friends, and go off gallivanting without a care what anyone thinks?

I made a comment once about watching Asian dramas on my old Xanga and a friend responded with:
“asian dramas are soo time consuming. why dont you go out and create your own and live through the dramas’ instead of watching them.”
Ah mariamaria103, your xanga is gone, where have you gone (though, I do believe I saw you get your flask confiscated at the 94.9 comedy jam in August) for I must thank you for your wise words that I had not yet grown enough, until now, to appreciate.

I’ll accept (even enjoy) growing up but I absolutely and adamantly refuse to grow old.

Do Not Give Away The Fish

Published on September 19, 2008 in Business and Self Actualization. 0 Comments

I just read an article, in the June/July issue of Success Magazine, on social entrepreneurs and the companies they are putting together to not only help level the playing field for those with ability stuck in difficult situations but to revolutionize how we are able to contribute to society. The articles highlight Year Up (yearup.org), Social Venture Partners International (svpi.org), and Kiva (kiva.org).

Year Up is a 6 month crash course in information technology & back-office finance, for urban 18- to 24-year-olds, followed by a 6 month internship. The hope is that after a year the hopefuls will land a job that that will change their entire lives. The article, by Sally Deneen, starts with Roberto Velez as the poster boy who went from cleaning jets to a job on Wall Street. If that is not life changing then we are all doomed to suffer de-evolution back to primitive mitochondria.

Social Venture Partners is described as an “incubator for philanthropists.” I’m not sure what that means but it takes contributions from affiliates in 23 cities from LA to Tokyo. Then the pooled money is invested in society-changing nonprofits such as the Human Development Foundation. HDP runs the Open GATE program which identifies students in low-income communities who test in the 99th percentile in second grade. The students then get assistance to attend private middle schools and high schools. Talk about plucking Cinderella from the labyrinth!

Lastly, Sally Deneen writes about microfinancing companies such as Kiva.org, Prosper.com, and PRBC.com. Basically, through these companies anyone can help finance a project for as little as $25! Well, that’s mainly with Kiva which helps finance business from around the world. I’ve actually looked into Prosper.com myself and it is one of the better ways to get a private loan.

These companies are truly going to change the face of the playing field. Personally, they’re also changing my views of helping others and doing business. It’s the difference between doing something for someone and helping someone help oneself. This is not to say that we shouldn’t help each other occasionally. I believe in the power of random acts of kindness. I even have a piggy bank set aside for such occasions. It’s a small piggy bank that is suppose to be about 10% of my income. Though, I can’t really afford 10% these days. However, I still put in my loose change. I’ll get it back to 10% when I turn my financial situation around. Hm, I digress. I was just trying to say that charity is a good thing but we shouldn’t overdo it. There are many ways that we can help others without selling ourselves short.

Closing thought: A fish given away is one less fisher in the world.

Life Happens.

Published on February 8, 2008 in Pursuit for Happyness and Self Actualization. 0 Comments

This year is becoming more and more depressing as the weeks go on. And the worst part about it all is that it’s not even the worst it can be yet. There’s still a long drop before we hit rock bottom. Hopefully, we don’t have to go there. Though, I’ll honestly admit that sometimes I kind of wish we were at the bottom. Then there’d be only one way to go. Up. Many times it’s just easier to start all over instead of trying to fix the problem while holding on to what we got. Yet, I don’t think my family would even listen to any talk of taking that much of a loss. So we fight on with the weight of our debts on our shoulders and the distance of our goals visible yet completely out of reach. Unfortunately, if we continue like this we accomplish nothing except slowly enlarge the hole that we’ve been digging for ourselves since we bought our 1st house in Las Vegas. So what do we do?

Well, there isn’t really anything “we” can do. I can’t make my family do anything. I can’t make them want to scrap everything and start over and I can’t make them understand what it takes to turn our financial situation around. The only thing I can do is to change myself and that starts with changing my perspective of the whole situation.

The way I see it now is that my family is not in a financial crisis. I am in a financial crisis. My family does not have 3+ million in debt. I have 3+ million in debt. This way I don’t have to try to get my family to change in order to improve our situation because it isn’t “our” situation. This way all I have to do is improve myself so that I can change my situation. A good friend of mine explained to me that my problem did not start with the situation I was put it. The problem started with how I think about and deal with the situation. I should not be thinking: “There’s too much for me to deal with it all.” I should be thinking: “I need to better myself in order to deal with it all.”

Life happens and it happens to us all. The difference is how we think and what we do.

Giving Thanks and Starting All Over

Published on December 20, 2007 in Pursuit for Happyness and Self Actualization. 0 Comments

((brian))’s flickr redwoodIt’s a little late for Thanksgiving but it’s never too late to give Thanks.
2007 has been a crazy year but there is still a lot to be thankful for.

First and foremost I have my family and friends to be thankful for. They have shaped my life and are responsible for most of what I have become. Thus, if you have a problem with me or if you don’t like my website, you should blame them! HA! I kid. I can imagine life without them and it’s not any fun. My family and friends bring real meaning to my life and for that I can never be thankful enough.

(Photo from ((brian))’s flickr photos)

Now a new year is upon us and in order to be really appreciative of the previous year that we have been so fortunate to live, despite all the financial troubles I have been having, I feel that we must seek improvement. Unfortunately improvements don’t happen over night. Even more unfortunate is that it is sometimes easier to start from scratch than it is to improve on what is already there.

Thus, I have decided to proclaim 2007 as: The Year I Learned Much From My Many Failures.

[side note: Just in case anyone is wondering about the whole proclaiming of a year thing... I like to name my years in accordance with what I want to do with my life. It's normally a self improvement goal but I reserve the right to make any goal I wish. It's like chapters in a book. This way there is always an expectation at the beginning of the year. Also like a book, what actually goes on in the chapter may be a disappointment compared to the title of the chapter. In which case I also reserve the right to change the title of my year.]

With 2007 behind me, 2008 shall be: The Year I Start Over.

It’s time to put yesterday behind us.
I figure that much of what I have been doing I have been doing wrong.
Just as my Tae Kwon Do Master said back in the day when I was practicing Tae Kwon Do,
“Practice does not make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect.”
In other words, if we’re practicing the wrong thing we are just becoming better at doing things wrong.
So, I am going back to learning the basics. Well I guess I’m not going back to learn them since I never learned the basics to start. Instead, I will enroll myself in learning the basics. What better time to step back than after a year of failure. It’s kind of like flunking in school. That’s a sad thought. But I will not be discouraged. For years I have been trying to improve myself without learning the proper basics. It’s like trying to grow a mighty redwood in a tiny pot. You don’t get too far.

2008: Build a Proper Foundation